Another Awkward Event!

So this afternoon, I had to make an impromptu stop at Price Chopper so I can get stuff to make a cake to celebrate the WONDERFUL news I received today (and ice cream sandwiches because I have an unhealthy addiction to them) only to be a witness to ANOTHER awkward event (please try to get over the initial shock that I witnessed an awkward event because that never ever happens to me).  Anyway, I'm perusing the chip aisle because as we all know, I'm a fat kid stuck in a skinny kid's body where I see the most white trash family - to the point of being almost too white trash to be in the same class of actual white trash, perhaps beige garbage? - looking at frozen turkeys that were in the freezer at the end of the aisle.  Now, the beige garbage mother is sitting in that little electric cart that you get in the entrance of the store.  I don't think she had any disability as she kept standing up to get things, so I'm fairly sure she was just lazy.  But I'm not going to make assumptions.  As the electric cart mother is sitting there, the beige garbage daughter is lifting frozen turkeys by that string on the netting they're encased in.  Instead of putting it in the electric cart her ever so classy mother was sitting in, she's standing there shaking it by the handle as the frozen bird bounced below.  No sooner do I think "that's probably not a good idea" the handle BREAKS and the frozen turkey lands on the beige garbage daughter's foot.  She lets out with this hideous shriek as the electric cart mother is like "oh hell no, oh hell no!".  I decide its about time to "look at some of the groceries on the end cap" better known as "I really need to stand closer to see what erupts from this".  So this broad is bitching away as she takes her shoes and socks off to look at the damage (why both?  I don't know).  She's screaming as the electric cart mother is screaming for an employee to come over.  I was quite proud, as a retail employee myself, to see a Price Chopper employee book down an aisle to avoid the atrocity as it unfolded.  Just when I thought it couldn't get trashier, beige garbage daughter number 2 comes meandering over shouting "Whahappennn whahappennn" which I gathered to mean "what has happened".  They explain their story similar to how the end of the world is often described by theorists.  So I glance over just to see what's up and to take a break from my intense shopping and catch eyes with beige garbage daughter 1.  She says "yeah, I have my shoes off.  So what!"  And then I left.

Oh hi a new one.

In case you were wondering.

Here's some embarrassing facts about me that you may or may not know about me:

1) I used to think that 7-11 and AARP were the same thing.  So I really wanted to go to AARP for Slurpees.

2) When I'm really overtired, I have spastic legs.  This, in turn, prevents me to fall asleep resulting in being wicked overtired and looking like a spaz.

3) I used to think I had two cousins named Harold, but really I have only one.  And I always wondered why I never saw the two at the same time.

4) I once touched a peacock's poop.  I was in Florida and I didn't know what it was.  Since I was pretty careless about what I touched, I was pretty lucky it wasn't a bubonic plague soaked diaper.

5) One time my friend was driving in front of me so I beeped and wanted to stick my head out of the window to shout "hello!" only for my head to find out my window was still rolled up.

6) One time I was late for class like my first semester of college (which seemed to be the trend) and just as I was sitting down, the professor was saying something about the answer to a problem written on the board.  So I basically said the answer since nobody else was answering to which she responded "Thanks Jen, you just told the class an answer to the quiz".  Whatever lady, you look like an owl.

7) Ripped pants at track practice.  That's all I'm saying...

8) I don't drink alcohol what so ever.  But I managed to get pulled over at a DUI checkpoint and the officer asked me "how much I had to drink".

9) I left an entire message on a customer's answering machine about peeing in toilets because I thought I had ended the call.  Buuut I guess I didn't.

10) I threw one of my grandfather's golf clubs in a tree and when he asked how it got up there, I told him that it fell up there.

more to come...

Something funny for a change.

So you know how I'm the self proclaimed Queen of Awkward Moment Witnessing?  Well I've got a new one for you.  At work the other day I had plenty to drink.  I don't know what it is lately, but water and I have become BFFs.  I just cant get enough of it.  So anyway, due to the mass consumption of water/coffee/tea, an inevitable trip to the bathroom was due.  So I walk in and see a coworker of mine (we call her Amish Trudy, I don't know why.  We make up stories about how she rides her horse and buggy to work when the truth is, I've seen her drive in the parking lot.  Whatever, it's funny) standing at the sink WASHING HER FACE saying "get off of meeeee!  get off of meeeeeeeeee!" as she scrubs away the intruders on her face that are only visible to her.  So I book out of there to tell someone, anyone, what I had just witnessed.  So my coworker walks in the bathroom out of disbelief, because who in the world  is going to believe that someone is reprimanding germs invading her face, only to confirm that Amish Trudy had to now fend off the demons that have now spread to her hands.  

Sighhh... at some points in my life, I truly think that I'm being video taped and these awkward moments are all acts for people to get a good laugh out of my reaction.

Hello there.

Just to let you know.

I haven't given up on you.

And I never will give up on you.

I care so much about you.  So much.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you.

You're going to get through this.

And we're all gonna be here.

Every single one of us.

That includes me.

I promise you.

Trust me.

Okay?

Stay strong.  Please. 

I'm trying, too.

All I ask is you don't give up on me.  

Please...?

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Think about it.  Please.

I have faith. 

Faith in our wondrous capacity for hope and good, love and trust, healing and forgiveness. 

Faith in the blessing of our infinite ability to wonder, question, pray, feel, think, and learn. 

I have faith. 

Faith in the infinite possibilities of the human spirit.

Stay strong.

Just something to think about...

He could have tuned in, tuned in, but he tuned out.
A bad time nothing could save him.
Alone in a corridor, waiting, locked out.
He got up outta there ran for hundreds of miles.
He made it to the ocean, had a smoke in a tree.
The wind rose up set him down on his knee.
A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw.
Deliver him wings, "Hey look at me now!"
Arms wide open with the sea as his floor.
Oh, power, oh. He's flying whole. High, wide, oh.
He floated back down cause he wanted to share.
This key to the locks, on the chains, he saw everywhere.
But first he was stripped, and then he was stabbed by faceless men.
Well fuckers, he still stands.
And he still gets his love he just gives it away.
The love he receives is the love that is saved.
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky.
A human being that was given to fly.

Stay strong.

And so it is...

Foreword

I'm quite aware it's nearly 1am on New Year's morning and that I should be out with my friends but I'm writing a blog instead, however, I have to get up for work at 5am and I did go out until a little after midnight so I'm not completely lame.  Just partially...

Non-Foreword (because I don't know what else to call it, are there any people that are actually good at English reading this?)

And so we have a new year on our hands.  After a pretty awful 2008, I'm welcoming this year with a new perspective on life.  I'm going to forget all the garbage that's happened in the past year.  All the things that have happened are merely another chapter in my life and it's time to start a new one.  At this point however, there are some things that happened and some people that have really bothered my mental health and I can't forgive that right now.  BUT, I'm not going to let those things drag me down anymore.  I'm better than that.

On the other hand, despite the mess of a year, I've learned a lot.  I've learned to not take anything or anyone for granted.  I've learned to not get upset about petty things.  I've learned to apologize and admit my mistakes.  I've learned I am a good person no matter how much I've beat myself up in the past.  I've learned to listen to my intuitions.  I've learned that I have the greatest family and friends in the world and I love them more than I could tell you.  But most importantly, I've learned that God has a plan for all of us.  I'm not going to sit here and preach to you, but there's no doubt in my mind that everything happens for a reason and that things will work out.  It's not always easy, but it's what needs to happen to have things work according to His plan.

And with a new year comes the dreaded "resolutions".  This year, I'm going to resolve to make things better for not only myself, but for other people.  I'm not talking about the whole "oh I'm gonna go to the gym daily, run 5 miles a day, blah blah blah. I play like 5 soccer games a week, that's enough.  I'm talking about having a better soul and trying to spread that to others.  I'm going to make an effort to not talk badly about anyone because I know how much it hurts to have someone say bad things about you.  I also want to try to fix things with my temper.  I know that I've done, said and thought some pretty awful things while I was angry that have disappointed myself and disappointed others. I want to be someone to be proud of and not someone to be disappointed in.  I just want to try to be a better person in general.  I'm certainly not saying I'm a bad person.  (If you're paying attention to this blog, I even said I think I'm a good person :p ) But I want to step it up and be better than good.

And so with that, I'm through with my blog for now.  I'm not promising any over night changes, but it's definitely something I'm going to work toward.  I'm going to need your help, but this is all pretty obtainable.  Have a little faith in me, okay?

So have a great year everyone.  Learn something useful every day, trust who you love, keep what's important and know who's your friend.

I'm just having a really tough time with everything now.  I know that's pretty vague, but I'm just so overwhelmed with life.  I can't push out of my mind everything that's happened recently and it just hurts so badly.  I don't care about myself being hurt, that's the last thing I worry about, I care about other people being hurt and me not being able to do anything about it or help them.  It's the worst feeling in the world and I feel like such an awful person.

"whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms and open eyes."

Can you return the favor.  Please?  I just want things to be back to normal.

Keep the countdown going...

I'm not typically the type of person to be serious at all, so this blog might throw everyone off just a little bit.  However, I feel that everyone, at some point in their lives, need to really get things out in the open for everyone to know.  I've learned over the years (I say "over the years" as if I'm old.  Like thirty or something.  That was a cheap shot at my sister and brother in law if you didn't catch it...) that it's never good to hold in any kind of emotion, be it anger, silliness, sadness, happiness, whatever.

It' been a rough few weeks, months even, for me.  I'm certainly not going to get into details because that could take days of writing.  Anyway, recent events in my life have taught me a whirlwind of things that I think have made me grow as a person.

1.  Have faith.  

This can be interpreted in a few ways.  Have faith in God.  Have faith in your friends.  Have faith in your family.  And most importantly, have faith in yourself.    I know it's easy for me to sit here and preach this to you from behind my computer screen, but it's a simple concept: where are we without faith?  Are we to sit around and wait for thing to happen by chance?  It's just not that easy.  Know that the people who care about you most are pulling for you and know that things are going to work out.  Things are hardly ever set in stone, have faith that things can and will change for the better as long as you hang on to the hope that they will.  The people that care about you most are your biggest fans, trust them.

2. Don't be afraid to say how much you care.

This one is really a no brainer but tends to be overlooked.  It's quite obvious that the reason you keep the company that you do is because you care about them.  Don't be shy and let them know, even if it means daily.  I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd ever get sick of someone telling me that they care about me.  Not only might this brighten someone's day, but it gives them something to look forward to and makes you feel pretty good.  A simple "just wanted to say hello" or an "I love you!" can make a world of difference to someone you care about.

3.  Don't sweat the small stuff!

Life's too short to be upset at someone for something they might have said or done to bother you.  Let them know so they can fix it and make it up to you if it need be.  You never know what can happen in  a matter of days, someone that you might be upset with might not be around tomorrow to say "it's okay, let's get things back to normal" to.  Let stuff go, because sometimes you don't realize how good you have it until it's too late.

4.  Have no regrets.

Again, life is entirely too short to look back at what could have been done differently.  Everything happens for a reason, don't question it.  You'll find out soon enough why something happened the way it did and it will all make sense.  Granted, this doesn't happen over night.  Be patient though, you'll figure it out.

5.  Don't take things for granted.

Know what you have and cherish it.  Simple enough.

6. True friends will never leave you.

Even though they may be miles away or unreachable, a true friend will never leave you.  They might not be physically there for you, but you have to hang onto the fact that they're most definitely thinking about you and your well being and that they're praying for you.  They've been there for you in the past and they'll be there for you forever.  In turn, don't ever forget about these friends no matter how much one might change over time or what the circumstances might be.  After all, you've been through so much  together.  

7. Stay strong!

Although things might seem ridiculously awful at a certain point in time, it doesn't mean it's going to stay like that forever.  You've only got the rest of your life to live, so don't back down.  Look at your troubles in the past.  All they are now are mere "bumps in the road".  That's how it will be from now until forever.  You've gotten past so many hurdles, keep going.

8. Have pride in yourself.

Be proud of what you do, no matter what other's might say or think.  Don't get discouraged and know that people think highly of you, do the same for yourself.  Most likely, you deserve to pat your own back.

So with that, I'm through.  I hope you're slightly inspired with my little blog here, because I just inspired myself [to make a cup of hot chocolate and watch "A Christmas Story".]

Take good care and hang in there.  This is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it a good one.

 

I'd like to think I'm a pretty relaxed person, but lately things have been really, REALLY annoying at work.  It's a mixture of annoying people and a case of "I need a new job.  BADLY."

Things that irk me on a regular basis:

1) People walking outside for exercise at 5:30 a.m.  GO TO BED.  Please, for the love of God, if you have time to be going on stroll through lovely Newington, you have time to be asleep.  Think about the hundreds of people (or at the very least, think about me!) who would forfeit a paycheck, or heck, a kidney, to be asleep.  Is it really essential to be exercising that such an atrocious hour?  Is your body going to balloon and 100 additional pounds will appear if you, Heaven HELP you, go for precious walk at say 8 a.m?  They might say "but Jennifer, we go so early because we have to go to work".  Here's a thought, walk AFTER work.  Simple concept; sleep trumps all activities before the hour of 8 am.  If the opportunity is there, seize it!  (side note: just because you're walking wicked early doesn't mean people can't see you.  Spare us the spandex and neon yellow shirts with fanny packs.)

2) When I go to Starbucks everyday (and who am I kidding, it's sometimes multiple times a day), I think it's the polite and perhaps even a sort of job security to bring coffee back for my bosses.  And everyday, without fail, the idiots I walk by on the way back to my office with the drinks who I didn't get a drink for proceed to walk towards me pretending to grab the cups of coffee and say "you shouldn't have" because they think it's funny.  News flash:  you're not the first one to do that, nor is it funny!  You're right, I shouldn't have bought a coffee for you, that's why I didn't!  At first, I give the fake "haha ohh you got me!" laugh, but after the first person, they get the whole "seriously, knock it off, I didn't buy you coffee.  And don't even look at my coffee, let alone pretend to grab it.  And another thing, your new hair cut makes you look like Barney Rubble from the Flinstones".  One by one, I'll get the 100+ employees to realize that they're not funny and terribly unoriginal.

3) I'd say I have one of the most common names in America.  So why is it that I get called an assortment of things that AREN'T my name?  There's guys that have done contractor's work for us for years that still call me Jenna, Shannon and even ROSE.  I clearly answer the phone "I.S. this is JEN. How can I help you?".  Contractor says "hi Shannon, is [so and so] there?".  Really.  Shannon?  Jeeze Louise.  And to make things worse, my coworker's don't correct the mistake, they just instigate the contractor.  They'll say something along the lines of "I'm sorry who are you looking for?  Oh Jenna, sure hang on one second.  JENNA.  It's for you.  JENNA?  Hang on, I'm getting JENNA for you."  Thanks a lot.  I'm pretty sure we should just change your names to Jerk so I can say "hey Jerk, pick up the phone" and not be rude.

4) When customers call to check the status of an order and then get mad when I tell them the estimated delivery date.  I typically get "I thought it was supposed to come in on Wednesday.  Why are you telling me it's coming in on Thursday"  Okay, for one, if you thought it was supposed to come in on Wednesday, why on God's green Earth are you calling me on MONDAY to see the status of it.  You know when it's tentatively coming in, so why don't you call me on the tentative day?  And secondly, what is whining going to do?  I certainly can't make it get here any faster.  Oh wait, this one's a whiner.  Let me get to freaken Tennessee RIGHT THIS SECOND so I can pick up your piece of garbage dishwasher and get it into our precious life right now just because you whined.  Talk about incentive!  If anything, I'm going to delay (this is what we call "forgetting" and/or "fax machine error") communicating to your contractor once your order is in if you're going to whine.

5) The phrase "What do you mean [enter phrase I just said]?"  Gee, what I really meant by "I can't get someone out to your house this afternoon" was "someone's on their way since you asked me what I meant!"  It is what it is.  I'm fairly certain I know how to speak proper English (for the most part...)  I can see if I were working with a group of deaf aliens and they asked me "what do you mean".  But I'm pretty sure I speak the same language you do.  If you ask "what do you mean", it's not going to make me change my mind.  (see previous comments on incentive.  Don't be obnoxious and I'll try to help you out).

6) Whenever I have to go out to the sales floor, I manage to bump into the customer who needs something that we're out of.  To make the customer happy, I look in the computer to see if we have any on hand.  With my luck, we never do.  The customer will then proceed to ask me if we have any in back.  Well sir, since you asked, I'm going to let you in on a secret.  Grab your ear muffs, fuzzy sweater and a cup of hot chocolate.  I'm going to bring you to the magical land where we keep the item YOU need but isn't out on the sales floor.  There's butterflies and unicorns and we can skip back there while holding hands and sing joyous songs.  It'll be perfect, I'm so glad you asked about the back!

7) What is with people leaving stuff on my desk?  It's no secret I'm slightly OCD (not joking, this was diagnosed...), so why do people feel the need to leave half-consumed cans of Red Bull, notebooks, reports, manuals, apple cores, dead mice (okay that's a whole different story, our printer broke because a mouse died in it!  I thought it would be funny if it came out where the paper comes out, but no such luck).  It's a simple idea:  if you put something there, get rid of it when you leave.  I'm pretty sure I learned that in kindergarten.  And while I'm thinking of it, why were you in my office in the first place?  Jeeeeze!

8) Not to toot my own horn (that phrase kinda bothers me since "toot" is a word associated with bodily functions, but I don't know another one to describe being full of one's self without actually saying it), but I'm pretty efficient with getting my work done.  I can get eight hours of work done in about two, so I need to keep myself occupied for the rest of the day.  This usually involves pointless tasks around the office including painting.  That's not what bothers me.  What bothers me is the million people who walk by and say something along the line of "oh what are you up to?" or the highly intelligent "painting?" comment.  Well heck, what gave it away? Was it the PAINT roller?  How about the PAINT brush.  Could it have the can of PAINT or the PAINTER'S tape?  Congratulations, you've just stepped up to neanderthal status.  I'm proud of you.

I guess that's enough for now.  I might be sad if you write a blog similar to this and add "reading Jen's blog" to your list.